shadow

Comparison

Savoring Your Season: Freedom From Comparison

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Life is full of seasons other than spring, summer, fall and winter. Childhood, adolescence, and adulthood; single, dating, engaged and married. We have healthy and unhealthy seasons, ones of flourishing and of pruning, and every high and low in between. I’ve been one to say I’m in a season of waiting just as often as I say I’m in a season of going. Too often, we lose sight of the present season for looking too much on the seasons past or future. Let’s take some time this week to be honest about our seasons – mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally – and learn to savor and soak in where we are now.

 

Freedom From Comparison

And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live, obey, love and believe right there.

1 Corinthians 7:17 (The Message)

wednesdayI think it’d be a lie if any of us were to say we’ve never compared our lives to someone else’s. Why are they getting married and I’m not? Why did they get that new promotion while my job has stayed the same for years? Why are they moving into that new house while I’m still here? Why are they having a baby and I can’t?

It can be painful to watch people walk through seasons that are different from our own, especially when they are walking through a season that we deeply desire to experience.

My senior year of college, I spent a lot of weekends going to bridal showers, teas, and weddings of dear friends. If there were ever moments free of some kind of wedding activity for one friend, there was a ring being given to another friend. I threw parties and showers and bought gifts while quietly wondering when it was my turn. Comparison tempted me towards competition, and competition always threatens to contaminate the purity of a community.

It wasn’t until after a summer full of weddings when I was halfway around the world missing one of my best friends’ weddings that I realized how beautiful our different seasons were. She was celebrating with family and friends, gaining a partner for life to follow Jesus with. Other friends were celebrating the beginning of their final year of school; some were mourning the season of college passing, others were walking almost blindly into a new job in a new city, and still more were wondering when their job applications would finally lead to an interview. Our seasons were drastically different, and there were parts of each of them that were easy to look on with envious eyes. But to compare our season to someone else’s robs up of the joy, life, and wisdom in our own.

God never uses one approach to get His job done in the world. He has put you in a unique season that sings a unique song that only another heart can hear clearly. To wish you were in another person’s season not only robs you of what He has for you but can also rob another human of what God has meant for you to share with them.

Instead of comparing my season with those of my friends, I’ve learned that I must learn from them. Each of our seasons brings unique wisdom and perspective that is meant to be shared. To tell the truth, sometimes it really is painful. To tell a bigger truth though? Learning from the unique seasons of others instead of comparing mine to them, especially the ones I am so desperately wanting to be in, allows me to live in my current season more freely and honestly. And when we live freely and honestly in our different seasons – joy and pain included – the gospel comes to life in us and others around us.

Chelsey

My Identity: What does God say about me?: Beautiful

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In 2 Corinthians 5:17 the Bible reads that we are “new creations” if we are followers of Christ. Have you ever wondered about the way God feels about you? We can be very hard on ourselves at times. We often struggle with our identity. This week, we’ll turn to God’s Word to find out how He views us and how we can find our identity in Him.

 

Beautiful

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Psalm 139:14, NIV

4_Beauty_Quote_THURSDAYDo you struggle with self-image? I think it’s a common struggle for many of us. When I meet women through my ministry for single women, this is something we often talk about. It’s also something I personally battle. I struggle with comparing myself to others and then mentally listing my faults as I see them.

In my book, Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman, I wrote about the standard of beauty. For the guys out there, you can substitute “attractive” for beautiful. It’s so easy to let external forces determine our self-image. If someone tells me I’m pretty, I suddenly feel beautiful. If someone mentions that I look tired, I feel like an ugly duckling. During my single years, if a guy paid attention to me, I felt beautiful. For years, I allowed my standard of beauty to be determined by others.

It’s important to remember that God is the One who sets our standard of beauty. In today’s verse, we learn that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” God created you exactly the way you are for a specific purpose. He wove you together. You are his masterpiece. He ordained all of your days before the earth was ever formed. God also knew the parts of yourself that would cause you sadness and struggle.

In Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman, I challenged my readers to try something each morning. For one week, when you wake up each morning, I want you to look in the mirror and say, “God created me in His image. He designed me exactly right because He does not make mistakes. I am beautiful.”

Of course, we’re not only talking about outward beauty. The Bible indicates that our beauty should come from another source. “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God” (1 Peter 3:4, NLT).

Today, remember that you are created in the image of God. Let’s honor our Creator by loving the person He created and cultivating the inner beauty of our spirits, not just our bodies.

Seeking Him,

Allison